Written by People feel depressed and anxious because they cannot keep up with today’s status quo. A Pew Research article by Patrick Van Kessel discussed a poll taken by the center. He stated, “Most Americans are at least somewhat happy with their lives, but some have grappled with issues like loneliness and isolation, work-life balance and finding meaning and purpose.” (Van Kessel, 2022). The article’s poll cited difficulties like social media influence and societal pressure as reasons for unhappiness.
In the unfair feeling of life, understanding that life is fair, but your choices create your outcomes. It means that you must look in the mirror of truth and ask yourself, “Have I made the decisions that will put me on a path to finding a better version of myself?” There is a consequence to action, but results are reversible when you change your attitude. Feeling that you deserve to have or deserve to be without putting in the work creates that mental state of being a victim. Believing that instead of committing to the grind, someone else should do the job and let the “so-called” victim can take the credit for it.
That attitude and behavior birth unneeded stress and anxiety. A September 9, 2022, U.S. News and World Report article says that 1 in 10 Americans feel depressed. (Reinberg, 2022) I was talking to my daughter, who is a senior in college. She is in awe of many of her friends who cannot make a simple decision without consulting their parents. Then when their parents tell them to be more adult, they get upset because the things they must go through are too hard, and instead of “bucking up” and figuring it out, they want to hand it off. These are the same kids that want to be an adult when it is time to party and play but refer to child-like states when it comes time to do things like taxes or study hard for a test versus the want of hanging out and chilling.
Although it sounds like it, this is not a knock on the younger generation because several in the 25-35 age group are doing the same. How many people do we know who are over 28 and still live at home? An article in 2022 from Daniel De Vise of the periodical, The Hill, says that 22% of American age 25-34 still live at home. (De Vise, 2022) They want to be adults with their desires but revert to childlike behaviors when confronted with adult obligations. You cannot have it both ways. That is how children believe, and you are not a child in age (only in mind state). Then you claim to feel depressed, grief-stricken, and anxious when you do not get your way.
Excuse the diatribe; let me get back to my point. These feelings can be a powerful incentive to find a better version of yourself. People seeking some semblance of greatness (personal or public) must endure this difficulty. I read an article about Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers (Wood, 2022). He talked about feeling abandoned due to his struggles with drugs. J.K. Rowling (Dunbar, 2012) talks about having to apply for government aid before her Harry Potter book became a success, and Walt Disney filed for bankruptcy on a few occasions to see his dreams to fruition. (Lape, 2018) Sacrifice and pain are parts of the quest for success. Grief and depression will come along with those struggles. To the committed, those struggles become stories of their legend. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (Reed, 2018) has been open about his battles with depression, and although it has been a challenging period in his life, he saw the need to go through them to appreciate his life better.
Learning to see hardships as the “price” for your dreams builds a different appreciation for the challenges. The pain will occur no matter your route, and no one is promised trouble-free days. Ask yourself, “Is what I am going through getting me closer to the dreams I desire, or am I complaining about what life is doing to me?” Your answer will come when you make that assessment.
I also must be clear. This article is not about people that have suffered severe loss or have been victims at the hands of others because there is a real-time for them to feel this way from the pain they endured. This conversation is geared towards the people who have committed minimum action but seek maximum gain. When it does not come, they blame society instead of their lack of commitment as the culprit for their situation. They then need sympathy, therapy, or medication to solve their problems. I am also not talking about people that suffer from mental imbalances either. There are justifications for people dealing with those matters.
Again, I am only talking about the people making excuses for their lack of growth, and instead of taking a self-assessment, they choose to blame life for their position. If you are reading this article and feel a little perturbed, then more than likely, I am referring to you. For example, if you are sitting in your bathrobe, yelling at your mom to bring you lunch, and you are over 25, then you are whom I am referring to.
The bottom line is that there is grief, hardship, and depression associated with finding a better version of yourself. Still, an overwhelming amount of evidence suggests that not doing so is also depressing. Ultimately, depression and grief that morph into success amount to an appreciation of these issues because it is the price of admission when it comes to discovering yourself. Your dream does not come without some realities. You cannot expect to find a better self in your comfort zone. You must be shaken up, threshed, disturbed, or whatever term you want to use. Expect you to face bouts with these demons as you seek your greatness. All people that have achieved some form of it have been faced with these demons. King, Mandela, Churchill, Winfrey, and Jordan are just some examples of people that had to battle bouts of anxiety and depression to see seemingly impossible dreams become realities.
Before you claim to be depressed or grieving over something, first look to see why. Is it because you are reaching to achieve, or is it because you have not? One is a reason for the happening, and the other is self-induced. The latter becomes destructive, while the prior is part of your journey to better.
Bibliography
Wood, M. (2022, March 30). How the Red Hot Chili Peppers rediscovered the best version of themselves. Los Angeles Times. https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2022-03-31/red-hot-chili-peppers-unlimited-love-anthony-flea
Reed, B. (2018, April 2). Crying constantly: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson reveals teen depression battle. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/film/2018/apr/03/crying-constantly-dwayne-the-rock-johnson-reveals-teen-depression-battle
Dunbar, P. (2012, September 22). I hit rock bottom over Harry Potter: J K Rowling reveals how instant fame and a ‘tsunami’ of begging letters drove her to therapy. Daily Mail. dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2207319/J-K-Rowling-reveals-hit-rock-Harry-Potter-fame.html
Lape, B. (2015, September 8). Walt Disney: Bankruptcy Served As Stepping Stone for Disney Legacy. My Horizon Today. https://www.myhorizontoday.com/bankruptcy101/walt-disney-bankruptcy-served-as-stepping-stone-for-disney-legacy/
Campbell, S. (2017, February 15). The 7 Inevitable Stages of Pain Before You Succeed. Entrepreneur. https://www.entrepreneur.com/leadership/the-7-inevitable-stages-of-pain-before-you-succeed/274382
Reinberg, S. (2022, September 19). Depression Affects Almost 1 in 10 Americans. US News and World Report. https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2022-09-19/depression-affects-almost-1-in-10-americans
Van Kessel, P. (2020, February 5). How Americans feel about the satisfactions and stresses of modern life. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/05/how-americans-feel-about-the-satisfactions-and-stresses-of-modern-life/
De Vise, D. (2022, December 16). How Americans feel about the satisfactions and stresses of modern life. The Hill. https://thehill.com/business/3777185-more-adult-children-are-living-with-their-parents-parents-are-not-pleased/