Written by This is not to say be full of delight and dance with joy because of hardships. It is to say that you have two alternatives. One, you must understand that challenges will befall everyone because there are no trouble-free days. Still, that trouble and those hardship experience mean that life is being experienced one more day because the alternate choice is being boxed and buried. Some actually take that option. Although that option is taken at times, it is not recommended it. Every day it is possible to affect change, and you will ruin your opportunity to find a better version of yourself because of your choice to end your world early.
Hardship and difficulties are never welcome. They happen to be unfortunate realities of life. What many fail to understand is that it is the challenges that bring one to a better version of themselves. We see these examples all the time. The beautifully brutal act of childbirth produces offspring into the world, but the mother must endure a series of difficulties to achieve that goal.
Another example is the metamorphosis of a butterfly. It begins as a caterpillar. With only one hope. The hope is not to be eaten that day. It soon crawls up a tree and begins its cocoon stage.
Inside, the larvae, the caterpillar at one point, literally begin to eat itself to expose the platelets that will create legs, wings, and antennas. It then must break out of the cocoon. That action secretes a fluid onto the butterfly wings, strengthening it to take flight. Also, within this dark and dismal period, it is being inked with beautiful colors, making a once unattractive caterpillar a now beautiful butterfly. (Reiman Garden/Iowa State University)
The intense heat and pressure that pieces of coal endure can turn a once-charcoaled-colored rock into a rare gem. There are many more examples, but these visuals paint a very clear picture of hardships becoming acts that produce beauty.
Also, the acts of hardship allow people to see life differently. Think about this, if you did not undergo life’s challenges, then you would not be alive. You would no longer have to go through life’s difficulties if you were in a casket 6 feet deep. It is a matter of perspective. How you choose to see it is how you envision the result. The grief associated with tragedy is not pretty by any means, and there is a period that warrants a feeling of loss and the need to mourn. (Wolfelt 2004) (Canadian Mental Health Association, 2015) This is not to be insensitive by any means. It allows grievers to change perspective at some point and believe that their loss can give them more than pain, and they can honor their lost people, who would not want to see them in such a broken state. Remember, just like you loved them, they loved you. They do not want you to stay in so much pain.
This reality of pain from loss is not being disputed. In fact, this article acknowledges the need for that period as part of the change process. Change is, unfortunately, the only constant in life. (Gillette, White, 2022) Loss of any type is change unto itself. We no longer have what we used to, and that can hurt. Hurt normally is a byproduct of change, but how we view and process the hurt determines whether it becomes an honoring or a prison sentence.
You will never get over the hurt, pain, and difficult nature of the process, but you have the choice of allowing the hurt to become an anchor or letting it become a lesson to guide you to a better version of yourself. It circles back to perspective. You cannot change what has happened, but you can change how it is seen. Some have chosen to turn their pain into purpose, and others chose to wallow in it for long periods. Sometimes, they let the difficulties they escaped become their death sentences because they believe they cannot change the narrative or accept the loss that has occurred. It can be seen in some soldiers and abuse victims that suffer from syndromes like PTSD or depression. Doctors at the Mayo Clinic describe the effects and state that constant reminders of the events endured cause them. They said, “PTSD symptoms can vary in intensity over time. You may have more PTSD symptoms when you’re stressed in general, or when you come across reminders of what you went through. For example, you may hear a car backfire and relive combat experiences. Or you may see a report on the news about a sexual assault and feel overcome by memories of your own assault.” (Mayo Clinic)
At times, intense therapy and medication may be needed to aid some of the symptoms. We have also seen how changing perspectives have transformed tragic events into purpose and incredible feet. Take Danny Trejo, for example. After an eleven-year prison stint, he has become a Hollywood actor with over 10 million dollars in net worth. Mind you, he served his time as a drug dealer and addict, but he became clean and learned to use his prison experience to enhance his acting career. (Corday, 2022) or look at Malala Yousufzai, who, at 15, was shot in the face by a Taliban rebel. Upon recovery, she is now an advocate for women’s rights worldwide. (Blumberg, 2023) I can safely assume that both Trejo and Yousufzai underwent extreme hardships during their processes. There are a few things that must be done to shift perspective:
- Be grateful for the fact that you are alive to endure the hardship because although the alternative does not give any more pain, it also does not allow finding your better self. Death cannot be reversed.
- Change your perspective and mentality from one of a victim to one of a victor because being a victim means that one has stayed locked in the hurt while the other becomes an option ripe with possibility.
- Agree to learn how to become a better version of yourself. You will find new talents and strengths that you did not know you possessed.
- Use the tragedy’s energy as fuel to move forward instead of an anchor to keep you stagnant. There is a limitless supply of negative energy all around you, so repurposing it is an aid to forward progress. Although despised in writing, a cliché is so apropos in this circumstance.
YOU SIMPLY GROW THROUGH WHAT YOU GO THROUGH. The challenges are a part of growth and become lessons forged from change.
Bibliography
Mayo Clinic Staff (2022, December 13). Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Mayoclinic.org. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967
Canadian Mental Health Association (2015). UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEVING AND MOURNING. https://windsoressex.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Understanding-the-difference-between-grieving-and-mourning.pdf
Wolfelt, A. D., Ph.D (2004). Understanding Your Grief: Ten Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart. Companion Press. https://doi.org/1879651351
Gillette, H., & White, M. A., Ph.D, MS (2022, December 9). Why Change Is the Only Constant and How to Embrace It. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-only-constant-is-change
Jackson, S. (2023, February 23). Danny Trejo Net worth 2023. CA Knowledge. https://caknowledge.com/danny-trejo-net-worth/
Corday, K. (2022, April 27). DANNY TREJO’S AMAZING ESCAPE FROM A DEATH SENTENCE Read More. Grunge. https://www.grunge.com/845416/danny-trejos-amazing-escape-from-a-death-sentence/
Blumberg, N. (2023, April 17). Malala Yousafzai. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/biography/Malala-Yousafzai
Iowa State University (nd). HOW DO BUTTERFLIES/MOTHS SPREAD THEIR WINGS AFTER EMERGING?REIMAN GARDENS. https://www.reimangardens.com/butterfly/butterfliesmoths-spread-wings-emerging/