Written by Changing perspective on a matter is a challenge. Seeing things in a better light amid the darkness can be difficult, but as Kevin Hart said, “You must wake up and give 100% every day” (Hart, 2018). I was listening to a podcast that used an example that presented total validity on both sides, but the situation scenario was not present. The statement on its merit was strong, but reality perception tests it. The statement was, “You are late for work, but you heard on the radio about a car crash that you could have potentially been involved in.”
One side of the coin of thinking is, “Thank goodness I did not get hurt. Is it a sign that I need to look at other options?” On the other hand, many people think, “Oh my goodness, I am late. I may lose my job.” The reason for the latter thinking is probably because of the potential scenario arising from tardiness. Many people have heard their boss tell them, “Tardiness is no excuse under any condition,” and the results become a punishment or a black mark in the employee’s record.
The employee may be looking at their personal track record (which may have included past lateness), or they know that their boss will not understand any reason for the lateness. There is also possible validity on the employer’s side if the employee is chronically late.
Here is where the situation gets murky and why choice must arise on the part of the employee. Does the employee look at their present livelihood as being in possible jeopardy (this lateness may affect my job, and I may get fired), or do they say, if I get fired, it is the chance for me to pursue another opportunity?
I must be clear, I am not siding with being late, but I am siding with justifications for lateness. Either way, the employee must decide, and here is where the gain of loss can work to the employee’s advantage. Instead of relying on someone else to create their livelihood, they can venture out and create their own. It will be a gamble, a risk, greatly disrupting their livelihood and perceived comfortability, but it can also lead to great rewards.
The reality is that there is no reward without risk. Risk normally needs to be calculated, but at times calculation is not afforded to a person. Here is when faith and self-belief must trump conventional thinking and “crowd wisdom” of risk aversion.
The choice to stay in the herd comes with the risk of loss at the hand of others, while the risk associated with faith and self-belief comes with the risk of loss because of one’s own actions. Many do not want to do what I have said many times after reading David Goggins. “We do not want to look in the truth mirror.” (Goggins, 2020, p. 14) This is because, if it fails, we do not want to admit failing; if one gives up, then it amounts to failure. Some look at a failed attempt as absolute and a sign that this is not for them, but striving for success is full of failed attempts. We must become okay with failing and not let it become a failure.
Many of the population have grown up on the mindset of what Eddie Pinero of the “Your World Within” podcast referred to when he alluded to believing that people follow the rule of society (Pinero/YouTube, 2022). The status quo is to risk your life to keep your job and potential livelihood. That risk is not in your best interest, it is the attempt to hold to the status quo. It is thinking along with the group, instead of exploring individuality.
The problem with “group thinking” (Bouygeues, 2019) is that it does not allow for the potential for creativity. Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba, realized this after not being hired on many fronts, which included his application for the police in China and his rejection as a fast-food worker for KFC in that country. He was even rejected from Harvard University when he applied. Due to his convictions and strong self-belief, he is now one of the world’s wealthiest men. (Mavericks, 2021) Luck/faith, the ability to see and seek opportunity, and an arduous work ethic must be applied to turn your dreams into realities.
Back to being late for work and understanding options when it happens. Worrying about the backlash from the boss will create one mind state that views loss as a loss. Turning to a self-belief thought process means that it is seen as an opportunity to pursue other goals if fired. Understand that option B comes with many challenges that will amount to a series of grief. Steve Harvey held on to his dream of success at the cost of losing his family, being homeless for three years, and being ridiculed by his peers. Even one of his teachers attempted to quell his dream. He tells a story about how he now sends her a wide-screen TV every year so that she can see him in his dream, which she told him he would never achieve. (Harvey, 2017)
Many do not want to sign up for the self-imposed grief that comes along with fighting for the dream of freedom. The preference is to play small to avoid being placed in a challenging scenario. Nelson Mandela says, “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” (Mandela, N. nd)
Conviction, faith, and self-belief must drown out the cries of the status quo. A man I was talking with discussed the difference between a grind and a slave (referencing the job). I am paraphrasing, but he said two men could work the same job with two goals in mind. One sees the job as a means to an end, and he is a grinder; the other sees the job as a part of him and a slave. The problem with the latter is that when he is let go from that job, he is now a slave without a master, and instead of becoming self-reliant, he looks for another master.
It is easy to believe that the status quo, conventional thought, your upbringing, or whatever you choose to believe is keeping you pigeonholed. I often quote Jim Carey, who said, “So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality (Carey, 2014). Many believe that going for what they desire is unattainable, so they settle for their so-called “reality.”
It is attributable to why people have regrets about things. Those regrets become grief in the long term because they beat themselves up over what they could have done. It becomes especially worse when they see someone else obtain it. Your perspective matters, and how you see it is how it will be.
Back to the original being late analogy. One option is to see being late as the possibility of losing what you have and lamenting over the matter, while the other holds two gifts. The potential of avoiding an accident is the first, and the second is your call to pursue your dream. Those two gifts can create new realities. It is up to you to decide where your value lies.
Bibliography
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Goggins, D. (2020). Can’t Hurt Me. Lioncrest Publishing. https://doi.org/1544507879
[Eddie Pinero/YouTube]. (2022, January 14). I’m Going to Win, Best Motivational Speeches Compilation [Video]. Your World Within. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-c2dr6bpos
Mavericks, J. (2021, December 15). Advice from Billionaire Jack Ma Who Got Rejected 30 Times Before Becoming China’s Richest Man. Entreprenuers Handbook. https://entrepreneurshandbook.co/advice-from-billionaire-jack-ma-who-got-rejected-30-times-before-becoming-chinas-richest-man-76513f26fa2d
[Evan Carmichael/YouTube]. (2018, April 13). You MUST Get Up and Give 100% Every Day! | Kevin Hart | Top 10 Rules[Video]. Believe Nation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ripdLHM0sQ4
Mandela, N. (nd), https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/nelson_mandela_391070