Written by Single fathers have the unique opportunity to view each day with their children as its own celebration. Although they may not always be publicly acknowledged, fathers can embrace each day as a precious gift. Parenting alone comes with its own set of challenges, but by shifting one’s perspective, the demands of single fatherhood can be seen as a joyful privilege rather than a burden.
It’s important to acknowledge the beauty and effort involved in parenting. While single fathers may not have experienced childbirth directly, they are entrusted with the incredible responsibility and joy of nurturing young lives. This privilege presents an opportunity to cherish and celebrate each day as a holiday filled with love, gratitude, and growth. By adopting this mindset, single fathers can transform the everyday tasks of parenting into a series of meaningful celebrations.
Choosing to be present in your children’s lives transforms the responsibility of fatherhood into a rewarding journey rather than an obligation. Some fathers may not comprehend the long-term effects of their absence, leading to regret and missed opportunities for connection. An example of this is the children’s book *Where is My Dad* by Ambry and Taylor Ivy, which tells the poignant story of a young girl wondering about her father’s absence. It serves as a reminder: do you want your children to wonder where you are?
Throwing Away A Lottery Ticket Without Checking the Numbers
I recall a relative who had 12 children, yet none were present at his funeral—a stark example of what might be lost by not being actively involved. Additionally, consider Shaquille O’Neal, originally from Newark, NJ. (next door to my hometown of East Orange, NJ) Despite his incredible achievements as an NBA Hall of Fame player and four-time champion, he has spoken about his strained relationship with his biological father. His father didn’t realize at the time the potential he was missing in his son.
By engaging wholeheartedly in your children’s lives, you ensure a legacy of love and support that lasts beyond your lifetime. The rewards of active fatherhood aren’t just about the monumental successes they may achieve, but the everyday joy and fulfillment found in being there for them.
Take, for example, the case of Shaquille O’Neal. While he became an NBA star and financially secure, his biological father found himself in financial jeopardy. This observation is not to suggest that children will inevitably become phenomenal successes or a financial boon, but rather, to highlight that an absence of perspective could mean overlooking tremendous potential.
The Privilege of Parenthood
For this reason, recognizing the privilege of being a vital part of your children’s lives can change your entire outlook on single parenting. Each day spent with your children is an opportunity for invaluable connection and growth. I know this firsthand. My girls are now 23 and 26, and I raised them from the ages of 13 and 17 after their mother passed away. Some days were so taxing that I did not know up from down.
Admittedly, parenting involves challenges and days that test your perseverance to unimaginable extents. Yet, the journey also holds the promise of irreplaceable moments and a legacy of shared love and support. By embracing the role of an engaged parent, you not only enrich your child’s life but also your own, ensuring that you aren’t inadvertently discarding what could, metaphorically speaking, be a winning lottery ticket. Rather than missing out on these precious opportunities, celebrate the profound impact you can have every day.
Presently, one daughter is at UCONN law and doing well, and my eldest is pursuing her acting career while teaching. Yes, it has been taxing but also rewarding. My relationship with my daughters is awesome. They are the best things in my life. Knowing the privileges I have been given allows me to see the challenges that I went through as testimonies of my strength and character as a single father.
Single Fatherhood is a Small Exclusive Club
Some days the single father holiday will be celebrated alone, but that does not mean that it should be viewed negatively at all. Those days, reflect on your accolades and give yourself solace for doing a great job. Even when you make egregious errors. Realize that when you get back up, do not quit, and look for ways to rectify them, you are learning valuable lessons. The holiday that you get to celebrate every day comes with advantages. You are in an exclusive club. You are only 1 of 2.5 million men who get this privilege.
Instead of seeing single fathering as a curse, look at it as the gift that it is. Your legacy lives on, and you get the right to be called “dad.” It is not something that every man can say. There is an extra sense of pride that unfolds when a single father accomplishes his mission for the day. Each day is a testament to your endurance and resilience. You’re successfully transforming challenges into fuel and a memory that becomes a feather in your cap. These days highlight you as the powerful man you are.
Even though every day is not a physical gift-giving holiday, it is a mental and emotional one. Celebrate the joys of the victories you have had on that day. Let these days be evidence of your stamina and abilities. Fathering is a privilege. Fathering alone is a gift that becomes a talent and a new skill set. You learn things that you may never have if not for your circumstances.
Perspective Leads to Growth
I remember that I learned how to cook and do women’s hair, and they are skills that are dear to me now. I never would have attempted to learn if I did not have the opportunity to become a single father. The life of a single parent man must be seen in this way, because it turns an outlook of seeing life as challenges into testaments of overcoming challenges.
Perspective in this case matters. You can look at single fathering as a gift or a curse. The way you see it determines the way you respond and how your children respond to you. You have a choice. One can see not being in their children’s life as an immediate respite from responsibility, or taking on the task allows one to see their strength in retrospect. The latter is a better option than the former.
The effects of single fathering do not only involve you, but also your children. No child wants to wonder where their dad is. If you were subject to that feeling in your life, remember how you felt and ask yourself, “Is it fair that I am subjecting my children to the same feelings I had?” It is a question that can be answered in one of two ways.
As a single father, you have a choice. You can look at each day as a celebration or as an obligation. Some days of celebration will be days of obligations, but even on those days, you can see them as testaments to your unyielding strength. Single Father’s Day is a holiday that single parent men can celebrate every day. Make sure you get up every morning and start your day in holiday mode. The perspective shift turns an obligation into an opportunity. The beauty is that it becomes your choice.