Written by We Hate to Love Heroes
A hero is someone some adults hate because it reminds them of the person they failed to become. They justify their hatred for the hero by focusing on the fantasy. Saying it’s not real instead of the theme or character arc of the hero or movie. The scenario is a fantasy, but the challenges the hero faces are constructs of our reality, only made to mimic fantasy. The factor of imagination is a reason why heroes appeal to children.
Imagination morphs into our perception of reality as we age. Therefore, the hero’s quest is pushed down, forgotten, and called an unattainable dream. Those themes play in your head and are constantly reinforced by others in society who want to pull you away from your hero’s quest. Everyone is heroic in some way. The grocery bagger who walks them to the car is a hero. The fireman who risks his life to save lives is a hero. We all have hero qualities.
Anyone Can Be Heroic
Even some villains are heroes. Take Loki from the Avengers series, for example. He was known as the “Master of Mischief” but rose to become one of the most iconic heroes in the Marvel universe. All fantasy aside, everyday people can put on their proverbial cape and walk the hero’s journey. People who start nonprofits and businessmen and women who give back to society are heroes. The mother or father who packs lunches, travels to their kids’ sporting events, and helps with homework is a hero.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, people who were disregarded and disrespected displayed true heroism. Nurses worked 48-hour shifts, drivers drove goods under deployable conditions, and many religious leaders took a once considered Satanic entity (the internet) and turned it into a conduit for people on lockdown to still worship. Shifting mindsets and using perceived evils to do good is the mark of a hero.
Some Good People Still Do Bad Things
People sometimes place others on pedestals, whether in their personal lives or in society. Success can lead to arrogance; take the case of Lance Armstrong. This can happen to anyone, and many have experienced this in their own families.
Still, you can’t stop believing in the goodness of people. It’s hard, but that is when your hero qualities must shine brightest. Overshadow someone else’s flaws by enhancing your own. Of course, be disappointed in their actions, but don’t hate them as a person. We all have our hang-ups. Nobody’s perfect.
Do What You Can with What You Have
Another quality of a hero is gratitude. Being thankful for what you have and putting your full effort into it to make it grow. Jesus told a parable about a slave owner who entrusted three of his slaves with the currency of the day. Fittingly, that money was called talents.
Two of the three doubled their talents and were rewarded by their master, but the third hid his talent to keep it safe. He didn’t grow his Talent and was ultimately flogged by the master. The moral of the story is to use the gifts you have been given. Don’t hide them or use them incorrectly. Play the cards you’ve been given and either learn to bluff or develop a strategy to win.
It’s not How You Start, it’s What You Become
Becoming a hero is never easy, and many only want a hero around when they need one. You don’t have to start off as a hero. Contrary to popular opinion, David Goggins is a hero. He is one of mine.
He is not a hero to me just because he was a Navy SEAL, but because he turned his life around and inspires others to do the same. He describes his earlier life as challenging—he faced bad parenting, struggled with weight, and lived in poverty. He now claims the title “bad ass” through his achievements. He completed three Navy SEAL Hell Weeks. He lost 120 pounds in three months and ran multiple 100-mile races. Whether loved or not, that’s a hero’s journey.
Look at Your Own Qualities
You don’t have to be nearly as dedicated to excellence as Goggins is to be a hero. Your qualities as a person determine your heroic nature. Evaluate your own. The world doesn’t have to call you a hero to be one.
You can be a hero at home, work, or in your community. Discover your own hero’s path and walk it. You don’t have to fly, turn invisible, or shoot spiderwebs out of your palms. You can just be yourself and display hero-like qualities.
Don’t Mistake Fame, Fortune, and One-Off Acts for Traits of Heroism
Sometimes we look at people for what they have versus who they are. Some people we see as heroes are really villains in disguise. That was the premise of the H.B.O. series “The Boys.” Take a good look at the people you consider icons and heroes.
Examine their qualities before you put them on hero status. A true hero doesn’t have to be recognized by society. Heroes are not in the business for fame or fortune. If they are, they aren’t heroes; they are opportunists.
Understand that real heroes do not have to be outwardly heroic. In fact, the best heroes do not profess it; instead, they allow their actions to speak for them.
The Qualities of a Hero
Heroes come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, and cultures. Although they are different, there are a few qualities they all share:
- True heroes are humble.
- They are “big picture” thinkers. They put the majority over themselves.
- They are risk takers. They believe in calculated risk, which is different from a gamble.
- They are honest. It is more important to do the right thing and be hated by some than to do the wrong thing to be loved by the masses.
- They are generous; they give what they can, whether it’s money, time, or their influence.
- They are leadership material. They may not be the leader, but many look up to them.
Look for these qualities when you consider someone to be a hero. Assess if they have hero-like potential. Their qualities shine brighter than their abilities.
Know The Difference
There is a clear difference between an icon, a leader, and a hero. For example, an industry icon is Jeff Bezos. He is probably a nice guy, but few would consider him a hero. Adolf Hitler was a leader, but not too many consider him a hero (those who do are probably twisted themselves). Mother Teresa was a hero. She possessed all the qualities of a hero and displayed them until her dying day.
Hero worship is not cool. Most heroes don’t want to be worshiped. They would rather be respected for their contributions. Choose your heroes carefully. Ask yourself, “Do my heroes display qualities worth imitating and morphing into my own belief system?”
Take their abilities and use them. You may see someone like Alicia Keys as your hero, and you want to play piano and sing as beautifully as she does. She may be a good person to admire. Her abilities are top-notch.
While I do not know Alicia Keys personally and cannot speak to her character, if you admire her abilities, try to view her as a whole, or as best as you can. Consider whether she has the qualities that you value as heroic. She serves here only as an example.
Anyone you see as a hero should make you feel safe to believe in them. Realize that you have hero-like qualities. Expound on them and allow people to admire you, the same way you admire others.