Written by June is the month that Men’s mental health is highlighted. So much data shows the deadly effects of untreated mental health. It not only affects the person going through it, but it also affects everyone around him. According to data from Statista, an article on April 12, 2023, stated, “Since 1982, an astonishing 136 mass shootings have been carried out in the United States by male shooters. In contrast, only four mass shootings (defined by the source as a single attack in a public place in which four or more victims were killed) have been carried out by women.” (Statista) That alone is a harrowing statistic, but beyond this, the reason for the behavior must also be examined.
Men face an inordinate amount of trauma that, by traditional standards, forces them to keep it internal and hidden. On the outside, a man may look perfectly fine, but in his head, bombs are going off. Everything from being the breadwinner to having feelings of inadequacy are in the minds of men. It only takes a Lemony Snicket moment (A Series of Unfortunate Events) to change a man’s behavior from mild-mannered to one that emulates Michael Douglas’ character in his movie Falling Down.
Given the downsides to mental health, the one thing that we know is that the feelings and illnesses associated with mental health challenges, such as grief and depression, are manifested through energy in the brain. The brain’s Amygdala region addresses the emotions of anger and hate, which fuel hostile activity. (Anderson) Through EEG and MRI scans, science has proven that the brain uses electronic impulses to command movement and relegate thoughts. (Trafton)
According to the Law of Conservation of Energy, energy never dies but can be transferred and transformed. Knowing this, the negative energy seen, felt, and used daily, can be rerouted to create a more positive outcome. We have seen it in many facets of life. Art, creativity, and skill honing are often birthed through pain. For example, Isiah Thomas of the Boston Celtics used the pain of losing his sister in a car accident to manifest some incredible numbers during the 2017 NBA finals. He had 33 points against the Bulls (The Bleacher Report) and 53 points in game two against the Washington Wizards. (Songco)
I often reference another man also because not only is he an excellent guitarist and songwriter, but this particular song was birthed through pain. Eric Clapton wrote and sang the multi-platinum-selling song “Tears in Heaven” after his four-year-old son died from a fatal fall. Men’s mental health can be topsy-turvy. On the opposite side, people that appeared to have it all together have succumbed to the statistics related to male suicide. People like Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain, Junior Seau, and Philip Seymour Hoffman all took their own lives in big part to the anguish they felt in their battles with mental health.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) stated that in 2021, men were 3.90 times more likely to die by suicide than women. (AFSP) According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), “The suicide rate among males in 2021 was approximately four times higher than among females. Males comprise 50% of the population but nearly 80% of suicides.” (CDC)
According to 2021 statistics from The World Health Organization, over 700,000 people die annually by suicide. Combining that information with what the CDC says about male suicide, 80% of that number are males. The burdens that men carry are massive. Tradition and the status quo of life lead some of us (yes, I am included) to keep the hurt inside. Unfortunately, many feel like a pressure cooker, and dangerous results can occur when the lid is unhinged. With all the negative energy swirling around, finding anything positive to hold on to is challenging. People hear about killing, shootings, and evils daily, coupled with personal dilemmas that justify negative actions in their minds.
Let’s be clear; there is no reason to commit unspeakable horrors or create deadly results from actions. That move solves nothing; it adds to the negative vibrations that the person is already facing and causes harm and fatal consequences to anyone impacted. Metaphorically speaking, one can turn that Plutonium of a feeling into Uranium and use it as power. The world allows people to believe they must live a certain way, forcing men to act out of quiet desperation. Many have been told things like “men don’t cry” or “suck it up.” These statements are why men hide their feelings and let them bubble inside until a negative situation causes their release. There are ways to address these feelings, but the first thing that men must do is agree to think outside of the box of what society deems “normal.” This does not mean color your hair blue and walk around naked (unless that floats your boat). It means that men must look at what society has told them is taboo with a new set of eyes. Real men cry: it is not a look of weakness or vulnerability.
Men can ask for help. Asking the right people is crucial. Reaching out to experts like therapists and psychologists can be a vital tool to help “keep the lid on.” Another key is looking at alternative actions, like learning to do something different instead of falling into a destruction routine. Exercising to release stress or simply relaxing on a spa day will help. Some men self-soothe by drinking, taking drugs, porn, or involving themselves with illicit sex acts (I know I am not the only one that has done it. Let’s keep it real). Learning to use the negative energy that is all around us can prove beneficial to find a better version of ourselves.
Like many men, I face challenges that assault the male ego. I have transformed much of that energy into doing more constructive things and being helpful to myself and society. Writing is one source of escape for me. I also cook, podcast, and talk to crowds about how to use negative energy to their advantage. This is part of my contribution to society, allowing me to use my mental anguish to my advantage. Am I dilemma free?
Certainly not, but I have chosen not to let others dictate my actions, and I understand that self-harm can lead to permanent results that can end up being more detrimental to me and my loved ones. A crisis is real and painful, but perspective changes outcomes. Men must keep the “hunter/gather” mentality and, as psychologist Jordan Peterson puts it, “You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn how to control it. It’s better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.” (Peterson) Men are powerful, but demonstrating that power constantly results in weakness. For example, the man who beats his wife and children simultaneously demonstrates power and weakness.
Just because one can restrain a situation does not make it a demonstration of power. Sun Tzu spoke of this in his book, The Art of War. He states, “The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.” (Tzu) He talked about how a true warrior knows when to fight and when not to fight. This is the restraint of the monster that Peterson is referring to.
An interesting man named Michael Overlie is starting a non-profit organization to bring dogs who are in animal shelters together with men dealing with mental health concerns that have caused them to attempt suicide. He presently consults with male executives who own dogs and other male dog owners through his Spirit Dog consulting practice. In a recent interview through my podcast, Michael talked about the rate of male suicide and the dilemma of so many dogs being in shelters. His non-profit organization seeks to marry the two and foster healing amongst both groups. According to legend, a dog is man’s best friend, and dogs make great therapy animals, so his idea is valid.
There are many ways to harness the negative energy that is manifested through mental health challenges. It begins with changing perspective on the matter being faced, agreeing to tackle the associated challenges, and searching to find a way to repurpose that negative energy into a positive fuel source that will bring one to a better version of self.
Bibliography
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Falling Down, (Dir)Joel Schumacher, Warner Bros., Feb 26, 1993
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Statista, “Number of Mass Shootings in the United States between 1982 and April 2023, by Shooter’s Gender.” Statista, 12 Apr. 2023, www.statista.com/statistics/476445/mass-shootings-in-the-us-by-shooter-s-gender/.
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