Written by Anyone with children understands how difficult it can be to raise them. Even if your child is the most model of citizens, there are times when they can get on your nerves. Their actions, in addition to life’s obstacles, and the fact that one faces these challenges alone, is daunting.
Laurie C. Maldonado and Rense Nieuwenhuis of the Oxford Bibliography state that socioeconomic concerns are one of the most pressing matters single parents face. 31.7% of single parents live below the poverty line. 35% of that number are female and 17.4% are male, as per the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.
The shock of transition puts this circumstance on the back burner until one is faced with a financial matter directly. When that happens, it is challenging because in addition to parenting, scheduling, and organizing both yours and your children’s affairs, one is now stressed over a financial matter they have trouble navigating.
Develop a Strategy
Initial desires are reactionary. Rationalizing cutting off essentials like life and health insurance, in hopes of having money available to fight, is not a strategy. Selling off any perceived luxuries like toys, gold, and other things to pawn shops, friends, and family to obtain needed income to address the concern is a small respite. These ways are immediate reactions to the problem at hand.
What they do is cause another problem down the road. Children always get sick; you sprain or break something, and it immediately turns a net positive into a net negative. Reacting to matters is a bona fide way to sink deeper into the hole. It is suggested that one shores up their financial matters as soon as possible. It will be a challenge, but there are ways to manage through and become a better steward of family finances in the process.
First, listen to the reactions of your mind. Do not immediately address them. Write down the possibilities, also write down the negative possibilities of that reaction. Understand that causing a problem to avoid another only increases anxiety and stress levels. An article written in The Journal of Family and Economic Issues titled, The Impact of Financial Hardship on Single Parents: An Exploration of the Journey from Social Distress to Seeking Help, discussed the well-being of single parents and the high levels of stress associated.
Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place
The authors interviewed 15 single parents working with the challenges of being single. The article said, “Participants described food and fuel poverty, and the need to make sacrifices to ensure that children’s basic needs were met. In some cases, participants went without food and struggled to pay bills. Isolation, anxiety, depression, paranoia, and suicidal thoughts were described.” (Stacks and Meredith, 2017).
Some resort to looking for an additional form of income. The choice is to work on a part-time basis, in addition to maintaining their full-time obligations. This leaves the children alone to fend for themselves. In some situations, there is a caregiver who helps, but for many, the sacrifices are at the sake of the children.
Overworking yourself to keep your family in the comforts they have been used to only adds to your levels of anxiety and often results in negative consequences. A shift in attitude and forgetting needed “must do’s” plagues single parents. Calming down is essential. When the mind is racing, it has the tendency to forget things.
The Pad and Pen Method
One way to prevent overworking yourself is to resort to a pad and pen, then give yourself a timeline to deal with the matter. Dedicate yourself to it when you can. Do not attempt to tackle the cadre of activities in a single setting.
Write down where you are presently. Do not focus on the ability to not make ends meet. Simply write down where you are now financially. The revelation will be scary, but it will spur thought. You will begin to see opportunities.
Single parents must think outside of the constraints they have been used to. Risk will be a must, but taking the time to look at your affairs becomes a calculated risk. Risk can be rewarding.
Next, look for people who can help in the way of showing you methods to reduce financial strain and increase net worth. There are companies that can help organize your personal finances. Forbes.com has rated a 2024 list of companies that manage debt relief.
The Hard Conversation
Applying for things like credit forgiveness programs can help. Having the hard conversation with your collectors and with your children is critical. Many single parents choose to wait until the task feels insurmountable to address it. That approach is reactionary and challenging to say the least.
Finally, get real with yourself. Ask yourself, “Is working this job paying me my worth or is it keeping me/us just above broke or even below it?” Shifting your mentality and changing your attitude towards other opportunities works to your advantage. Help in the way of money raining down will not happen, but looking at other opportunities may give you another avenue. Sales, for example, is a hard occupation, but it is rewarding. According to Zip Recruiter, the average sales-related salary was north of $80K. There are opportunities. There is no reward without risking something.
The risks may include reducing or eliminating hanging out time, couch surfing, or Netflix binging. Instead, ask the people who you look for assistance from to help you shore up your resume. A 2024 career guide on Indeed.com posted 15 jobs that would be helpful to single parents.
It means that what you used to do no longer serves its purpose. You may have to move on. As a single parent, you do not always have the luxury to choose your desired occupation.
Building New Houses With Old Tools
This does not mean that you cannot find the one that suits your needs. It means that you must risk the old for something new. Do not up and quit your present position for opportunities unless you believe that you can do it. Dip your toe but become serious about seeking alternatives. Learning, studying, and thinking about your new realities are helpful in obtaining goals.
If what you presently do does not maintain your lifestyle, then look at the variety of avenues available. Do not pigeonhole yourself into career possibilities like what you presently do or have done in the past.
You must have faith and take massive amounts of action. It will be difficult. Difficult does not mean impossible. Single parents cannot hope that things will get better unless they commit to activities to make themselves better. Know that others have done so. Don’t let yourself believe in impossibilities. J.K. Rowling turned her life around by believing in her Harry Potter book, and that belief has now earned her billionaire status.
4 Activities to Change Financial Outlook
There are ways to help yourself. They are simple, but none of them are easy.
- Get away from naysayers who will challenge your aspirations.
- Research alternative career opportunities.
- Write down where you are and realistically where you want to be by a certain timeframe.
- Fight the inner demons of stagnation with activity and action.
These are not easy to do, but neither is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Take a proactive approach. This will shift your mindset from victim to victor. You may not be where you want to be yet, but putting your mind in the realm of possibilities is the beginning of transformation.