Written by Isn’t Defense Supposed to Stop the Offense?
In American football, prevent defense is a strategy that allows small gains by the offense while preventing big plays and running down the clock. Its focus is on minimizing risks and protecting the lead, rather than aggressively shutting down every attempt.
This approach can seem risky because the defense intentionally concedes minor gains to avoid bigger setbacks. The strategy is to control time and scoring chances, ultimately wearing down the opponent both mentally and physically.
For fathers, prevent defense is about intentionally deciding which small issues to allow in order to avoid larger problems. Everyday stresses—from family arguments to work—can pile up. A dad who manages these with a strategic mindset resembles a team running an effective prevent defense, making it look easy even when it’s not.
Managing the Clock is Managing Your Family Life
The prevent defense in fatherhood is a way to manage the many issues a father faces and helps him to understand the big picture of his duties. There are things you must concede to win the game.
You may want to hang out with your friends. Family obligations occur at the same time you want to hang out. This is the point where you must make concessions. You have the option to gamble. You can go with your friends and deal with the backlash of not meeting your family obligation, or believe that you could do both. The latter thought will give the offense an opportunity to score.
E.T. Eric Thomas talked about a Chinese proverb in a motivational speech. He discussed the fact that one can’t chase two rabbits at the same time. The quote from Confucius states, “The name who chases two rabbits, catches neither.” It discusses why multitasking is not the best option when pursuing goals. Some may disagree with this, but it is a reason why some men and women divorce. This idea could also be detrimental to the family unit. It is not to say that looking to achieve multiple goals is a bad thing. It means that if you are going to do so, understand that you will be giving up something to address a bigger picture.
Let’s take work-life balance as an example. There are several factors in this equation. From job choice to time spent at work are factors. The lack of proper time management plays a significant role. Asking yourself, “What is most important to me?” is a crucial question.
This is How Best to Manage Time Between Family and Other Obligations
It is not easy, but if you want to keep your family intact and still address your obligations, then you must take this approach. It takes understanding between all parties. Here are ways to achieve the goal.
- Communication. Do not hide your feelings or downplay the pressures of multiple duties.
- Create a schedule that incorporates “family time” because it reduces stress and lets those in your family know that you have a preset time.
- Do not overload yourself. Saying “yes” to everything is a recipe for disaster.
- Prioritize your duties. Make family a top priority in your mind. It also assures too.
- Give yourself “wiggle room” to insert tasks, obligations, or duties that were either unanticipated or take longer than you thought.
These approaches will not solve every problem you face. It will reduce the stress and anxiety associated with it. Having a plan gives you the opportunity to adjust. “Winging it” or letting the “chips fall where they may” all the time will result in failing to achieve your goal of wanting to multitask.
The reality is that multitasking is a fallacy. Statistics show that only about 2.5% of the population is effective at it. Normally, we do one thing at a time, and because we are doing a few things within a given period, we assume we are multitasking.
Men who attempt to manage many duties can find it difficult. Family, work, social obligations, and self-care must learn how to do this effectively. It can be done. It is not multitasking. What it is is clock management and prioritizing tasks.
It Doesn’t Mean Something Will Not Get Left Out
There will be times when everything on your “To Do” list will not get accomplished or done in the timeframe desired. Here is where communication is key. If you must change the time it takes to handle a task or move something around, you must be Okay with letting the others who relied on you know that you can’t meet their expectations.
Yes, you may be disappointing someone, but do your best to make it up to them, then prioritize that. You have 24 hours in a day, but some days you wish you had 25 to 30. Since you don’t, it means that some tasks may be moved, and some things may need to be adjusted. Don’t make a habit of adjusting to the same tasks. Family time is an example. Do keep putting that off.
A certain self-care routine may need to be adjusted. You may need to get up an hour or two earlier to work out. You may need to readjust or renegotiate time with friends and family outside your immediate family unit to address other things. You might have to cancel or reschedule your spa day or turn that dinner for you two into a family meal. These are ways to achieve your goals. They are not easy, but it was your initial choice to schedule them in your life.
Readjusting is Not Failing; it is Strong Clock Management
Having to readjust times or manage things differently is not failing. Only if you do not do it is failing a reality. Doing it later and setting the time aside to do it is your attempt to achieve your goals. Do not fall into society’s idea that not meeting the task on time is failure. You will receive the backlash for not scheduling it properly, but learn to live with that and take it as a lesson. See the improper timing as an opportunity to discover how to prioritize the readjusted event.
The prevent defensive scheme does not always work as it should, but it doesn’t mean you have to lose the game. As a dad, you have signed up to become the star player in your family unit. Everyone looks up to you to make things happen. You must find a way to make a way.
There is a lot of pressure on a dad, but you can make the necessary adjustments. It takes careful planning, communication, and the ability to learn from mistakes. These things will allow you to better manage the clock and prevent the opposition from scoring.
Don’t Confuse Multitasking with Clock Management
People who attempt to multitask do not always achieve their goals. The old saying “Jack of all trades but master of none” comes to mind. Some complete, but not to the best of their ability. In the realm of fatherhood, just showing up is not the same as putting on your game face and giving your all.
A relationship works the same way. Either romantic or platonic ones have expectations. Do not attempt to multitask in those situations. Doing things like navigating work priorities while with your significant other or your friends makes them feel like you are not appreciating their time. If you know you have job obligations, then you must reschedule with your friends accordingly. Again, use this as an opportunity to learn how to schedule your circumstances. It sucks, but it is all on you.
Know that thought, though, gives you a new level of strength and resilience. When others see that you can prioritize your time, they respect it. Letting them know that you have a job obligation or prior commitment shows that you value those things. You must place equal value on the circumstances you had to forgo and make sure that nothing interrupts those future events.
This is your opportunity to showcase your talents and abilities, to navigate different circumstances. When you do this effectively, people will wonder. Planning of time, giving yourself some wiggle room, and allowing yourself to adjust accordingly, makes the incredible appear easy. It’s the power of clock management in the prevent defensive scheme.