Written by Why Be the Fool
Single fathers, on your journey, you’ll face stumbles and moments that seem foolish. Remember, these are part of the path to mastery. Each stumble brings you closer to improvement. By persisting, you show your kids that perseverance leads to progress and failure is not permanent. See these moments as opportunities to grow.
Only giving up amounts to failure. Every attempt is your desire to become better. Do not let the outside convince you that your present proficiency level is equal to failure. Jordan Peterson gave a lecture at the University of Toronto in which he said, “If you are not willing to play the fool, you will never become a master.”
I remember watching an old Kung-Fu movie (yeah, I am dating myself) called “Master Killer.” A young man went to a Shaolin Temple to learn Kung-Fu. His teacher put him through a series of tests. Early on, he failed them all.
It Starts From Scratch
Over time, as he learned, he became extremely proficient. We have all seen this theme throughout our lives. Take learning to walk, for example. As a baby, we stumbled and fell numerous times. Still, we were determined to learn.
From the bumps and bruises we incurred, we became proficient at walking. We are now able to use our legs for travel purposes. We must go through stages of proficiency to master anything.
They consider being able to perform it a mastery. Look at it this way. I enjoy playing basketball. If I kept going, I would probably be great at it. Just because I can dribble and shoot, I am nowhere near a Kolby or Mike. If you want to become good at something, you must agree to be bad at it for a time. I am sure the great basketball players didn’t just pick up a basketball and become what they were. I took years of training. Dedication to their sport allowed their skills to build.
Society’s Take on Being a Fool
Today, many want the skills without putting in the effort. There is an ongoing myth. Less than 1% of humans possess a natural ability to do anything. The truth is, anyone can learn to become elite. It takes trial and error. During that time, one will often look foolish, but that is the cost of mastery.
A reason many do not pursue their desires is based on fear. They are afraid of how they will look to others. We want to be liked and accepted, so we do the bare minimum. The problem with that is we leave our true abilities behind. Some would rather be accepted than do what must be done to become a true master.
They wonder why they don’t possess the skills or talents to excel. They justify their lack of ability by saying things like “That’s impossible” or convince themselves that they cannot do it. It is not the mindset you want your children to accept.
By agreeing to look foolish in the process of learning, you are showing them that it is okay to go against the grain of societal thinking. You instill them with the belief that anything is possible. Doing that allows them to imagine possibilities. Consequently, they will strive to achieve them.
Your Mind Believes What You Tell It
What you say to yourself truly matters. If you tell yourself you are not good at something, the mind accommodates your beliefs. According to science, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead of devaluing yourself, hold yourself in high regard. Saying things like, “I am not good yet, but I will get there,” is different than telling yourself that you are not good. That little word “yet” is the difference maker.
“Yet” indicates that you are attempting, and when you convince yourself that you can, the mind will also accommodate. When you are doing something new and have agreed to be a beginner, you will feel like things are hard. You will believe you can’t do it. If you continue to think that way, the mind will enforce your disbelief.
When you tell yourself, “This is new, and I am learning.” You have opened the door to growth. You’re giving the mind the understanding that mistakes are a path to progress. Don’t let challenges dissuade you. Let them persuade you to overcome them.
See Mistakes as Opportunities
Society’s definition of failure differs from what failure represents. Society attempts to paint failure as a reason to quit. The reality is that only quitting is failure. When you get back up and attempt again, failure only becomes another attempt to try again.
Using the earlier example, imagine if you gave up on learning how to walk when you fell. You would never learn to walk. It sounds crazy. It’s equal to giving up after a failed attempt.
Hard is not impossible. Drill that thought into your mind and into your kids. Make sure to tell yourself that upon each failed attempt. Telling yourself that motivates you to try again. Self-motivation is what’s needed to transform failure into mastery. Failure is your opportunity.
Find Out What Will Work
You now know what doesn’t work when you’ve failed at something. Keep going because you will find what works. The only way to figure it out is to keep attempting. If you choose to stop. Then you will never know how to make it work. Someone else may discover it instead of you.
You may have given them the road map to their success. In the process, you truly failed because you quit. Obviously, there is a solution. You chose not to hang on long enough to find it. It’s like the story of R.U. Darby in Napoleon Hill’s book, Think and Grow Rich. Darby quit mining for Gold and sold his equipment to a man who later discovered it. Darby never acquired master status as a minor, but it taught him a valuable lesson, and he used it to build an insurance empire.
A Fool in One Situation Can Teach You to Become a Master
As Darby learned, quitting often turns challenges into losses. Persistence leads to growth. His experience shows that stopping can benefit others but not you. Instead, choosing to keep going helps you avoid regretting unfinished work. To master anything, you must accept the learning process and be willing to start from the beginning.
See failures as pathways to success. Try and try again. It may feel like driving a square peg into a round hole, but if you have the conviction to make something work, then continue the pursuit.
Single fathers, remember that your struggles make you stronger. Each failure is a chance to learn. Trust yourself to find solutions, and understand that rerouting or adjusting your plans is part of growth. Your path may change, but perseverance leads to mastery.
Others Rely on You to Continue
As a single father, you are not the only person affected by quitting. You are also not the only person affected when you master your ability. Your kids see that Daddy will not give up. That gives them the incentive to keep going when they face challenges.
Your children look up to you. Keep that in your mind when pursuing a goal. Also, keep in mind that others are affected by your decisions. Use each other to be pillars of strength. Look at them when things get hard.
Their faces will give you the motivation to keep going. Accomplishing goals and becoming a master at something lets you know you have what it takes to succeed. When they see you have mastered a goal, it encourages them to set goals and reach them.
Best of The Best Attitude
The desire to be the best rubs off on your children. Mastery sets you apart from others. You are uncommon amongst the common. Mastery proves that you can be uncommon amongst the uncommon as well. You want your kids to be the best they can be. Lead by example. That attitude builds a bond between you and your kids. It is something they aspire to be because they see you.
Let them see that hard work and constant effort lead to mastery. Society lets people (especially children) believe that if it doesn’t come easily, then it isn’t worth it. Show them that the best things come through hard work. Your attempt at mastery shows them that they should not accept mediocrity. Becoming the best at something means doing your best to achieve your goal.
Doing your best may not mean being or becoming the best. Having the attitude that you want to be the best and are willing to do what it takes does set you apart. Teach them to always put their best effort into anything they attempt. Let them know it will separate them from the people who believe “good enough” is excellent.
The desire to master something becomes ingrained. Through osmosis, it’s transferred to your children. Attitude is infectious. Make the attitude of mastery the infection that spreads throughout your family.